I have to admit that I am a bit behind. I’m behind in my work, I’m behind on my household checklist, I’m behind on my wedding to-do list, and yes, I’m even behind on my blogging tasks! I suppose that’s what I really great weekend away will do to you.
Since I’m still trying to catch up on my Blogging 201 tasks, including putting some better work into my Facebook page (I’d love any feedback and, of course, likes!), I have a very special post today from a guest blogger. I hope you all enjoy it!
Hello warmth-machine users,
The Other Human is too busy to click away on her warmth-machine today, so instead you get to read something much more interesting than anything the Other Human can think up: a day in the life of a feline.
First, a little about myself. I live with My Human and the Other Human in a big room with no door for me and only a few views of Outside. Right now I can only see the leaves that fall Outside, but I’m working on being able to get to them. It’ll happen soon; I can feel it.
They refer to me as “Zoey,” although I always thought I would’ve been better suited as a “Cheetara” or something equally regal. I do rule the family, after all. At 26 cat years of age, I’m also the oldest member of our clowder.
While I’m sure you would all like to hear more about my humble beginnings, the terrors of life in a shelter, and how much I loathe visiting My Human’s canine, I should probably begin explaining a typical day in my life. There’s so much to tell!
10:30 Dark Time
This time is typically when I wake up from my long sleep. I remind the Humans to leave some of those surprisingly tasty brown morsels in my bowl, and after that, I follow them into the room with their big, fluffy nest.
The Humans are very confused about sleeping. They don’t know the proper times to nap, which is why they normally go to sleep as soon as I’m awake for the day. That’s why I try to remind them throughout the night that they should be awake and playing with me.
Between now and when the Humans wake up, I am very busy. There’s scratching to be done (on both my scratching post and the Other Human’s new basket) as well as bouts of exercise like running as fast as I can under and over the furniture. It’s also very important that I stare down the other feline that looks remarkably similar to me in the big window above the box with all the drawers of clothes. I wouldn’t want it getting the wrong idea and coming over to my territory.
At about this time every morning, I climb onto My Human’s chest, smurgle a little bit, and then lick the inside of his ears until he finally wakes up and pushes me off, which is an incredibly ungrateful way to thank me for my special wake up. Then I climb in between the Humans, then I push my way into the nest, then I get too hot and want out of the nest, then I lie on top of the nest, then I get back into the nest and smurgle some more, then I…
This is when the Other Human wakes up every morning. She isn’t my favorite, but she does leave fun things around the apartment like little stretchy bands that I like to hide under the couch. She also always seems to leave the shower wall open long enough for me to get in and lick it to my heart’s content. What I don’t enjoy is when she turns on the noisy machine that dries her fur. Humans are ridiculous.
8:00 Light Time
From this point until about 4 o’clock, I have the whole place to myself. I take naps on my blanket, stare longing at Outside, climb inside a big hole in the wall and get soot all over my ears, sit in the bathroom sink, jump into the big boxes my Humans bring home, the list goes on and on. I like to climb on top of the bar that the Humans made, even though the Other Human always get mad at me, but my favorite perch is the very highest point in the whole place: the tops of the cabinets in the room where the Humans keep my food. It’s the perfect place to watch over them or just take a nap.
My Human gets home, and we usually play with my feathery bird on a stick. Then he sits on the couch, and I sit on him.
The Other Human gets home, and then it gets complicated. She normally sits with a blanket and her warmth-machine, so I have to leave My Human and sit on her because that’s just a rule: when a Human is clicking away on one of the strange warmth-machines, a cat has to be as close to the warmth as possible. I nap between the Humans for a few hours, and then once again, it’s time to wake up!
My days are exhausting. The Humans should really be more appreciative of everything that I do for them. Sometimes they just don’t get it. Oh, Humans…